Stonewall’s Gift: 50 Years Ago Queer Fury Erupted and Changed the World

In the spring of 1968, weeks before the start of her final year of life, Judy Garland met with a biographer to discuss collaborating on her memoir. The author, Gerold Frank, was a journalist well-known for ghostwriting the life stories of celebrity women, including Zsa Zsa Gabor. The meeting, arranged through Sid Luft, Judy’s manager and third ex-husband, was set for 10 p.m. at New York’s St. Moritz Hotel. But at the appointed hour, Frank and Luft, who were dining at the Plaza nearby, got word that the superstar needed more time.

Frank considered himself something of an amateur psychoanalyst, deploying the techniques of the then-fashionable therapeutic method to build trust with his subjects and tease out truths of their emotional lives that even they hadn’t discovered. His unique, tell-all process not only created bestselling books but seemed to cure the ills — depression, suicidality, neurasthenia — of their famous subjects. Frank assumed that, since Judy had undergone psychoanalysis, she’d be used to probing her inner life, and capable of telling her story.

But instantly, that prospect dimmed. The night of their first meeting, Judy delayed their rendezvous first by an hour, then another and another, until she finally welcomed her guests at 2 a.m., just as they closed down the Plaza’s Oak Room bar. The men arrived at the hotel suite to see a diminutive woman seated on a couch with a child-like face that, upon closer inspection, revealed the distinctive markings of a clown: Dark paint shielded the tip of her pug nose and chin, starfish lines radiated from her eyes, and frantic dabs of bright color covered each cheek. “It was behind this laughing, slightly grotesque, makeup that she had been able to meet me,” my grandfather remembered, “the wistful, lovable little clown whom no one would dare to hurt.”

My grandfather and Judy spoke that night, and across several more meetings, in somewhat stilted exchanges marred by a formality and distance that crush the literary collaboration. Judy, it turned out, was unwilling — probably unable — to speak about herself genuinely, fiercely resistant to showing the vulnerability that made her both so beloved and so defenseless against the exploitation she’d known all her life as a child star. Instead, when talking about herself, she turned her stories into performances, leaping to her feet, dashing this way and that in a frenzy of wild gesticulating and manic laughter, the better to please and entertain, but also to evade and self-protect. If Judy avoided exposing her true self because she feared letting down her guard, she may also have done so for a more elemental reason: She was wholly unacquainted with whatever lay beneath the surface glitz that made her Judy Garland. She had no idea how to be herself, or who that even was.

The meetings soon fizzled, and Judy set off for London where, a year later, at age 47, she’d be found dead from a barbiturate overdose. On June 22, 1969, wrote my grandfather in the foreword to the authorized biography he went on to write six years later, “the final chapter came in the story she had yet to tell. I have tried to tell it in the pages that follow.”

The power of Judy’s story has since inspired many more books, TV movies, and a Broadway musical — and will soon bring a major motion picture to the screen, starring Renée Zellweger. But like any widely shared cultural narrative, the contours of Judy’s story are contested. Five days after her death, 50 years ago this week, thousands of grieving fans, a great many of them gay, filed past her glass-topped casket inside Manhattan’s Campbell Funeral Chapel to pay their respects. Hours later, four miles south at a bar in Greenwich Village, a spontaneous uprising broke out as a motley mix of street kids, drag queens, trans people and gay businessmen in ties chose to trade in their customary reticence in the face of police abuse and fight back against a raid of the Mafia-owned watering hole. Across several evenings the unrest continued, unleashing years of pent-up fury and emboldening queer people with a new stridency inspired by the era’s spirit of protest. (Characterizing the transformation, the gay beat writer Allen Ginsberg, who visited the scene on the third night, remarked, “The guys there were so beautiful — they’ve lost that wounded look that fags all had 10 years ago.”)

Thus emerged the legend that it was the grief of mourning queers that sparked the rebellion that started the modern gay rights movement. What really triggered the uprising, or the movement it drove, is, of course, not reducible to one person or moment. But whether precisely factual or not, the notion that Judy’s death birthed the modern LGBTQ movement makes a great story, something that’s often more important than how true it is.

Yellow roses cover Judy Garland’s coffin as it is taken to hearse at Campbell Funeral Home on June 28, 1969. (Photo by Mel Finkelstein/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images)

I always found it deeply moving that my grandfather inherited the mantle of telling the world the story of a misunderstood diva — and gay icon — who never got to tell it herself. I wondered what drove him to Judy’s story, what purpose it served for him to tell it, and what to make of the giant pink book about her life—dedicated to me and his five other grandchildren — that came out of it all. How were Judy’s story, as my grandfather told it, and the story of Stonewall and what came after it intertwined? Did my own story figure in?

Judy Garland embodied a central paradox in the world of mass entertainment culture and of modern life. A product of almost pure artifice herself — she had become a Vaudeville star almost as soon as she could toddle and, at the hands of relentless stage parents, lived and died without feeling she possessed a genuine identity of her own — she nonetheless projected in her performances an authenticity and vulnerability so pulsing and intimate that it pierced her audiences with what my grandfather called “a laser beam of pure emotion.” Her “great gift,” said James Mason, her leading man in A Star Is Born speaking at her funeral, “was that she could wring tears out of hearts of rock.”

For herself and her fans, Judy’s performances created a safe channel to feelings that weren’t allowed to surface in ordinary life. This was undoubtedly the draw for my grandfather, who had a journalist’s sense of alienation from the joys of reality (he told Life magazine that he devoured books as “borrowed excitement” from a “life of unspeakable dullness”) and the sensitive child’s aching but unexpressed empathy for a depressed mother. Surely this interplay between expression and restraint helps explain Judy’s appeal to anyone whose early encounters with parental stress or rejection taught them an unfortunate lesson: that the very act of feeling could threaten cherished relationships and must be masked through performance or repression to blunt its dangerous edge. And so her gift of melting hardened hearts—in highly controlled contexts—was exactly what many LGBTQ people craved as at least an occasional antidote to the grueling daily chore of self-numbing. Judy gave them not just a license to feel but a vehicle to transport them from forced stoicism to emotional release, a hot air balloon promising to float them to a place where they could be themselves.

I was never much of a Judy Queen, unless you count my childhood love of The Wizard of Oz. Born the year after Stonewall, I shared with many other gay men my age a reflexive disdain for what felt like the self-distancing personality type of our elders, the largely closeted cohort that, straining merely to survive the anguish of a double life, embraced irony, camp, drag, Broadway, and torch songs about life over the rainbow. Theirs was a world of emotional escape in which aesthetic pursuits and other elements of artifice, spectacle, and excess — by exaggerating superficial forms of emotion — sought to mask the real kind that was too dangerous and painful to feel.

The gay sensibility of my post-Stonewall generation, by contrast, entailed an effort to distinguish ourselves as more modern and more authentically ourselves, or so we thought, than those arch, hissing queens (recently personified in the Tony-winning Broadway revival of Boys in the Band) who seemed to lack the courage to be themselves. It’s not that we were more earnest than our elders; in fact, we remained haughtily distrustful of emoting, suspicious of anyone, including ourselves, who dared to care too much. And so, like our forebears, we too fled ourselves, albeit in ways that felt different, more evolved, by virtue of being our own.

Yet if some variety of self-flight was a defining feature of queer life for much of the last half century, there are signs that we may finally have landed somewhere beyond the rainbow. What Judy achieved only in the narrow confines of her performance life — accessing and exquisitely expressing genuine emotion — the descendants of Stonewall have begun to achieve in ordinary life. Some time since that summer night 50 years ago, the escapism of the LGBTQ mindset gave birth to its opposite: the successful quest for emotional authenticity in a world of ever-increasing artifice. A thread can now be drawn from the early queer movement’s demand for a politics of personal disclosure to the theatrical empathy of Oprah Winfrey to the ubiquity of the Instagram story to the hunger—and demand—for authentic political candidates whose story all of us can know.

Indeed, the LGBTQ movement didn’t just transform life for queer people, but changed the world, by inventing — and widely sharing — a simple act whose profound impact is indisputable: coming out. Data show a steady increase in the number of LGBTQ people who disclosed their identities in the decades after Stonewall, and research further documents the virtuous cycle of disclosure: The more people know someone who is LGBTQ the more likely they are to support their equality, which makes laws and policies protecting equal rights easier to establish, and that makes coming out easier. A growing body of scholarship on “minority stress” shows that coming out improves LGBTQ health, for precisely the reason Judy Garland tragically knew but could never transcend—outside of song: Pretending to be someone you’re not, as the price of being loved, is a deadly bargain; concealing your emotions and living a double life take enormous energy and strain relationships, from friendships to parental bonds to sham marriages which can only have waned in frequency as a result of growing tolerance and the emergence of legal same-sex marriage.

It is coming out that resulted in a mushrooming of openly gay and transgender lawmakers, CEOs, and celebrities, as well as what once seemed the unlikeliest of presidential candidacies: 37-year-old Pete Buttigieg, openly gay and married, as a top-five contender for the Democratic nomination in 2020. When state legislatures began to legalize same-sex marriage a decade ago, the victories were secured by the presence of openly gay lawmakers who raised their voices and dared their colleagues to look them in the eyes and vote against their humanity. When Washington state advanced toward legalizing same-sex marriage in 2009, one state representative shifted her position in favor, telling a gay colleague, “Getting to know you and your family, I saw it differently.” A study of the impact of ending one of the most odious anti-gay laws in history — the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that barred the very mention of the fact a soldier was gay — showed that it made life better for gay and straight troops alike.

The backlash against LGBTQ progress in the age of Trump is equally unmistakable. Hate crimes have ticked up in the U.S. and abroad; red states advance legislation to limit the rights created by same-sex marriages or to reverse their legality altogether; the president won a legal battle to re-instate a transgender military ban. In spots around the world, LGBTQ people fall prey to legal and physical assault, making it unsafe for them to express who they really are.

Stonewall’s legacy was never just about one group’s insistence on being treated like everyone else, but about everyone’s right to be themselves. It was about liberating all people from the need to snuff out their truest selves, from the compulsion to be someone they’re not.

Yet the more marked trend is the steady if halting advancement of Stonewall’s legacy — including its impact on those besides queer people. That legacy was never, after all, just about one group’s insistence on being treated like everyone else, but about everyone’s right to be themselves. It was about liberating people — all people — from the need to snuff out their truest selves, from the compulsion to be someone they’re not. It was about making a world where emotional expressions once forbidden could be not just permitted but embraced, about creating an Oz where love was unconditional and so realizing your true desires wouldn’t bar you from one day finding a place called home.

“When Stonewall happened,” said Edie Windsor, the plaintiff of the successful Supreme Court case that brought down the Defense of Marriage Act, “I was really this ignorant middle-class lady who said, ‘I don’t see why I have to be identified with those queens.’ ” Only years later, in her eighties, did she fully embrace the movement that made her whole, recognizing at last that “those queens changed my life!”

I, too, had to let down my guard to recognize how indebted we all are to the bravery of those hissing queens, and to find in their story — even as they dreamed of escape to a better world — the inspiration to expect and demand that this world allow us all to be ourselves. My grandfather had been so nervous to meet Judy Garland that he told Sid Luft, “I almost want to ask you how to act.” Luft replied: “Just be yourself.” I hope it’s something my grandfather learned to do better than Judy. I hope it’s something he somehow imparted to me too.

In researching When We Rise, a 2017 miniseries on the LGBTQ movement, the Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black (Milk) was pressing a source on whether he was really at Stonewall and on what actually happened there. “You are completely missing the point,” the source told him. “These are all fabulous stories, aren’t they? The day before Stonewall, we didn’t think we deserved a fabulous story. The day after, we thought we deserved a story for the first time in our lives. That’s Stonewall.”

Judy thought she, too, deserved to have her story told — the story of the real Judy. There was more to her than a singing wind-up doll, she insisted, in describing the memoir she hoped to write. “There’s a woman, there are three children, there’s me, there’s a lot of life going here!” She never got to tell her story, but she left behind a legend that, like the fabulous stories of Stonewall, form our collective inheritance. In Judy’s wake, and in Stonewall’s, the LGBTQ movement can be viewed as a quest to give voice to untold stories, and in telling them, to make the world a more empathic, more emotionally liberated, more loving place, a place where we can all be ourselves. To me, I now can see, that’s Stonewall.

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Far From World Cup, Hints of Rebellion Inside U.S. Soccer

PARIS — The reviews read like pleas for help from inside a failing corporation. “A terrible and toxic place to work.” “A culture of fear and intimidation.” “Morale is at an all time low.”

But this is not an ordinary company. The scathing critiques were posted, anonymously but publicly, by more than a dozen current and former employees of U.S. Soccer, the governing body for the sport in the United States, on a networking website. More than a dozen have been created over the past two months, as U.S. Soccer has moved into the final stages of its search for a new chief executive. Seven have appeared since the start of the Women’s World Cup on June 7.

In telephone interviews with The New York Times, several current employees at various levels of seniority confirmed that the feelings expressed on the site, Glassdoor, accurately reflected concerns inside the federation’s Chicago headquarters.

What the reviews suggest, as the United States women’s national team chases another world championship in France and the men’s side pursues a regional one, is a behind-the-scenes revolt against the federation’s most powerful executives, notably its longtime chief executive, Dan Flynn, who plans to retire this summer, and his top deputy and potential successor, Jay Berhalter.

They began appearing in May, suggesting a concerted effort to use the site’s company review option — which is public — to alert top federation officials, and the organization’s board, to concerns before they vote on a new chief executive.

In the reviews, and in interviews with The Times, past and present U.S. Soccer staff members described grievances common to almost any company: too much work, too little pay, bosses who don’t listen. But in their open disdain for Flynn and Berhalter, the employees also paint the portrait of an organization — one still emerging from a broad restructuring sparked by the humiliation of missing the 2018 World Cup — that is dominated by a small group of long-serving executives, and infected by dissatisfaction and mistrust.

“Dream job, nightmare organization,” read one post added a week ago. “Intervention needed” was the title of another. “Terrible leadership” said a third.

One current employee called the postings, which are an open secret inside the federation’s headquarters, “cathartic.”

“It’s like a desperate cry for help,” the employee said in a telephone interview. The employees contacted by The Times agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity, out of fear of retribution from the federation’s leadership team.

Several employees said the reviews were motivated by the looming change in leadership. Flynn’s desire to retire from the chief executive post he has held since 2000 has been public knowledge for months, and recent news media reports suggest the search for his successor is nearing an end. Berhalter, the federation’s chief operating officer and the brother of the men’s national team coach Gregg Berhalter, has emerged as a leading candidate to replace Flynn, perhaps as soon as next month.

U.S. Soccer’s president, Carlos Cordeiro, said he and other senior officials, as well as federation board members, were aware of the online postings, but he declined to comment publicly on anonymous complaints.

He noted the federation was undergoing some of the biggest changes in its recent history, adding staff members and increasing the diversity and responsibilities of the organization’s leadership. And a U.S. Soccer spokesman, in a statement, acknowledged that “at the moment we are at an inflection point where we are rapidly growing as an organization, which is both rewarding and challenging.”

“As we grow,” the statement continued, “listening to our employees and taking action where and when needed will be more important than ever.”

At U.S. Soccer’s Chicago headquarters, where most of the federation’s nearly 200 full-time staff members are shoehorned into a 150-year-old stone mansion, employees said they or colleagues had left recently — or were actively searching for new jobs — for a variety of reasons: better opportunities, better hours, better pay. But several cited the workplace culture as part of their decision-making.

“You are losing a lot of great people,” reads one review. “How can you not see that?”

“Prepare yourselves for a mass exodus after the Women’s World Cup,” reads another.

Several of the reviews directly blame Flynn, U.S. Soccer’s chief executive since 2000, and Berhalter, the federation’s top commercial officer, for a workplace climate in which employees’ arrivals and departures are monitored, 50- to 70-hour work weeks are expected and those with dissenting or unpopular opinions are reprimanded or marginalized.

Others lamented that advancement inside the federation is limited by a core group of top executives who have controlled the most senior positions for a decade or more.

But it is the public — and personal — rebukes that paint the most troubling picture of a troubled workplace:

“We are okay with nepotism here,” one review said, mentioning both Berhalters by name.

“Executives are more interested in what benefits them rather than ‘making soccer the preeminent sport in America.’”

“Morale is at an all time low in all the years that I have worked here. Have you noticed? Do you care? Will you continue to do nothing?”

The search for Flynn’s successor has been conducted largely out of public view, by a committee of board members led by Cordeiro. More than a dozen internal and external candidates have been considered, but with little information leaking to the public, the perception has grown that the process is being managed to arrive at an arranged result that puts Jay Berhalter in charge.

That is precisely why some inside U.S. Soccer say they have tried to raise an alarm.

“We all know that if the next CEO comes from within,” one wrote, “the toxic culture will never change.”



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Rihanna Goes Day Drinking With ‘Late Night’ Host Seth Meyers

Pop superstar Rihanna teamed up with host Seth Meyers for some day drinking on “Late Night with Seth Meyers” Thursday night.

Meyers started off by downing a shot and a full beer, while Rihanna tried to chug down the same to match him. Meyers then treated Rihanna with a bunch of cocktails named after some of her hit songs including “Under my Rumbrella,” “We Found Veuve in a Hostess Place” and “Diamonds in the Rye.”

“You’ve got to be freaking kidding me,” Rihanna said as she tried to drink the “We Found Veuve in a Hostess Place” cocktail, which Meyers made with Veuve Clicquot and a Twinkie in the concoction.

“You really want me to drink this?! I’m trying to stall so [the Twinkie] can suck up the entire drink and I don’t have to do it,” Rihanna said.

Meyers advised Rihanna to become a pilot, when she asked his advice for what to do if she quit music. The singer said she always wanted to a pilot as a child but gave up after she “realized (her) grades sucked.”

Meyers and Rihanna ended their drunken session with rendition of the popstar’s songs, including “Work.”

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Melissa Berger, Jonathan Reinstein

Melissa Beth Berger and Jonathan Marc Reinstein are to be married Feb. 18 in Florham Park, N.J. Rabbi Robert L. Tobin is to officiate at the Park Savoy, an events space.

Ms. Berger, 33, a lawyer, until January worked as a trademark counsel for American Express in New York. She graduated magna cum laude from Cornell and received a law degree from N.Y.U.

She is a daughter of Janet Jameson Berger and Robert S. Berger of Livingston, N.J. The bride’s father is based in Livingston as an independent strategy consultant mainly for nonprofit organizations, while her mother works as an independent college counselor there. Her mother is on the board of the National Council of Jewish Women, Essex County section in Livingston.

Mr. Reinstein, 34, is an associate in the employee benefits and executive compensation group at the New York law firm Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton. He graduated summa cum laude from Stony Brook and received a master's degree in library science from Long Island University. He received a law degree magna cum laude from New York Law School.

He is the son of Donna R. Reinstein of Passaic, N.J., and Philip J. Reinstein of Huntington, N.Y. The groom’s mother is the itinerant school librarian with Eastern Suffolk Board of Cooperative Educational Services. She is based at the Jefferson Academic Center in Port Jefferson, N.Y. His father is the chairman of Capital Dynamics Corporation, an insurance and financial services firm in Huntington. He is a trustee of Temple Beth David in Commack, N.Y.

Ms. Berger and Mr. Reinstein met in September 2015 after joining the board of the Young Friends of the Museum of Jewish Heritage – A Living Memorial to the Holocaust in New York, which supports programs and fund-raising for young professionals.

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Kate Middleton debuts inspiring summer sun dress and espadrilles for patronage announcement

The Duchess of Cambridge has been named as the new patron of the Royal Photographic Society as she joined youngsters taking part in a workshop run by the prestigious organisation.

Kate, who is a keen amateur photographer, has succeeded the Queen as the figurehead of the body, which was officially supported by the monarch for 67 years.

Mike Taylor, the society’s chief operating officer, said: “It is a huge honour to have the duchess as our patron, especially given her personal interest in photography.

“We know that photography and creative pursuits have such a positive impact for people of all ages, and we are excited to be working with one of the duchess’s charities in support of their work.”

The duchess has been praised for her photographic portraits of her children, Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis.

She has documented milestones in their life such as birthdays and first days at nursery which have been published to mark the occasions.

Some of the most recent images include three pictures of Louis released when he celebrated his first birthday on April 23.

The duchess is visiting a photography workshop run by the Royal Photographic Society and Action for Children, another of Kate’s patronages, in a children’s centre in Kingston upon Thames, south-west London.

She is joining children from Action for Children – which supports disadvantaged youngsters from across the UK – in several sessions, run with Royal Photographic Society honorary fellows Jillian Edelstein and Harry Borden.

The children will learn about various elements of photography such as portraits, light and colour.

Alongside developing new skills, the workshop will highlight how photography provides a universal language for young people to express themselves and release their thoughts and feelings.

The Royal Photographic Society was founded in 1853 with the aim of promoting the art and science of photography, and in the same year received royal patronage from Queen Victoria and Prince Albert.

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Shaquille O’Neal’s mom told him to stop posting about how rich he was

Embed from Getty Images
Shaquille O’Neal was the host of the NBA Awards, which aired last night. You can see the opener here. He rapped with some backup dancers behind him and that was fun, but some of his jokes fell flat. In an interview with Hoda Kotb which aired on The Today Show, Shaq revealed his social media strategy. He said he used to show off his stuff more but then his mom told him not to do that. Shaq described his mom and her advice to him and it was sweet.

His social media strategy
When I send out tweets it’s 60% to make you laugh, 30% to inspire you and 10% to promote what I’m selling. I came up with that formula because when I first started doing twitter I didn’t really understand social media. I was kinda in showoff mode. ‘Look at my house, look at my boat.’ My mom called me and she said ‘Stop showing off. Be humble. You should use that to inspire people.’

Does your mom keep you in check?
She’s always been right, she’s never been wrong. She’s never gave me the wrong information. She’s so calm about her approach. I can be upset about certain things and she’d [stay] so calm and it always worked out.

His mom’s advice
Don’t forget where you come from and make people remember your name. Whenever I do or say something I imagine her in front of the TV watching. Every man should love and respect the women first of all and they should definitely respect and love their mother.

[From The Today Show]

I loved that interview! Shaq has 14 million followers on Twitter, and I followed him a while ago but he doesn’t come up in my feed much as I don’t interact with his tweets. I will check him out more now. I couldn’t find any braggy tweets he made, but I did find some Instagram posts that his mom might have noticed. He was posting stuff like that last year. That was so nice the way he described his mom and what she means to him. I’m like that with my mom too, I take her advice. Sometimes it’s hard to hear but I definitely take it.

Here’s that interview:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgPLQEXBTf5/

The king of WAKANDA IS HERE

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfOqinJgkQJ/

I’m back THE EMPEROR HAS RETURNED #NBAALLSTAR2018 #AmexAmbassador #AmexNBA

https://www.instagram.com/p/BebxpgYBt2U/

Just got my Vaydor @supercraftcars #custom #vaydor

Shaq with his sons at the NBA Awards:

photos credit: WENN, Getty and via Instagram

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Pamela Anderson dumps soccer star boyfriend Adil Rami, accuses him of cheating, abuse

Have Pamela Anderson and soccer star Adil Rami split?

Sources tell Page Six that actress Pamela Anderson has broken it off with her FIFA World Cup Champion boyfriend, Adil Rami.

Pamela Anderson dumped her boyfriend of more than two years, French soccer star Adil Rami, accused him of cheating on her and alluded that he may have been abusive during their relationship.

The "Baywatch" beauty posted a picture with her now-ex on Instagram Tuesday, writing, "It’s hard to accept. The last (more than) 2.years of my life have been a big lie. I was scammed, led to believe … we were in big love. I’m devastated to find out in the last few days that he was living a double life. He used to joke about other players who had girlfriends down the street in apartments close to their wives. He called those men monsters. But this is worse. He lied to all. How is it possible to control 2 women’s hearts and minds like this – I’m sure there were others. He is the monster. How could I have helped so many people @ndvhofficial and not be wise enough or able to help myself?"

Anderson, 51, tagged the National Domestic Violence Hotline's official Instagram account in her post. She went on to detail more allegations against the Marseilles-based soccer player, saying she spoke to his ex-girlfriend, Sidonie Biémont, with whom he shares twins Zayn and Madi, born in 2016, and hinted that Rami and Biémont's relationship wasn't actually over when she dated him.

"He lied to her about all too. She’s also in shock and is very sad," Anderson lamented. "It’s the evidence I needed to move on. He can’t hurt us more. He warned me that all the tabloids in France are his and his sisters friends? They control all — So my last note is here on Instagram."

The "Barb Wire" actress claimed that Rami, 33, would never leave her side unless she went away to work and that he frequently questioned her whereabouts and who she was spending time with, saying she initially believed it was because he loved her so much, but that she now believes it's because he was insecure, controlling and distrustful.

Anderson also accused Rami of alienating her from her close friends and loved ones, including photographer David LaChappelle, who she said warned her that Rami was a "liar" and "not to be trusted."

She also slammed Rami's activism for domestic violence prevention and aid, accusing him of doing so only for positive publicity, accusing him of "physical and emotional torture."

Pamela Anderson and Adil Rami attend Amber Lounge 2019 Fashion Show on May 24, 2019 in Monte-Carlo, Monaco. The couple, who dated for two years, recently split and Anderson accused the soccer star of cheating and "physical and emotional torture" during their relationship.
(Getty)

"He should not be the face of protecting women from domestic violence. Or protecting women at all. He did this to improve image- only," she wrote. "He has no respect for any woman but his mother. And he lies to her too – they all lie. It’s very painful. I’m so so sad. I will feel my feelings and move on."

"Every time he chased me to say he’d die without me," she continued. "He’d go to therapy. He wouldn’t hurt me again. He wanted us to live in Malibu one day. I even emailed my friend who owns LA team for him for next year. Like he asked me to."

Anderson, who's resided with Rami in France since their relationship began, said she is leaving the country and rebuffing his efforts to win her back.

Marseille’s defender Adil Rami and actress Pamela Anderson arrive to take part in a TV show on May 19, 2019 in Paris, as part of the 28th edition of the UNFP (French National Professional Football players Union) trophy ceremony. They split a month later.

"I will leave France now," she concluded. "He has tried all - He has sent flowers letters - I did not accept. He showed up to my hotel. Security took him away. I have a bodyguard because he scares me. He has hurt me and threatened me many times."

A source told Fox News that none of Anderson's friends liked her with Rami and that many were rooting for her to reunite with ex-husband Rick Salomon. An insider also confirmed that Anderson had been courted by billionaire Evgeny Lebedev.

Rami is not the first of Anderson's exes to be accused of domestic violence. The pinup's first husband, Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, served six months for spousal battery for a 1998 assault that reportedly left the blond bombshell bruised and with a torn fingernail. Anderson was holding their then-infant son, Dylan, at the time of the assault.

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Reps for Rami and Anderson did not immediately return Fox News' requests for comment.

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Pamela Anderson, 51, & BF, 33, Split After 2 Years & She Accuses Him Of Cheating: ‘I Was Scammed’

Pamela Anderson shockingly revealed in a June 25 Instagram post that she & boyfriend Adil Rami are done & she now believes him to be a ‘monster.’

Pamela Anderson, 51, has spent more than two years in a seemingly loving relationship with pro soccer player Adil Rami, 33, but the two have officially called it quits. Pam took to Instagram on June 25 with a lengthy message explaining their sudden breakup, which she alleged was due to cheating. “It’s hard to accept 💔,” the actress began the eye-opening post. “The last (more than) 2.years of my life have been a big lie. I was scammed, led to believe … we were in « big love »?. I’m devastated to find out in the last few days. That he was living a double life,” she wrote, before accusing him of cheating. “He used to joke about other players who had girlfriends down the street in apartments close to their wives. He called those men monsters.?” she said in one part of the caption.

The former Playboy model went on to share her heartbreak with fans, and slammed her ex for his actions. “This is worse. He lied to all. How is it possible to control 2 women’s hearts and minds like this – I’m sure there were others. He is the monster.  How could I have helped so many people @ndvhofficial and not be wise enough or able to help myself. Pam did not make it clear who exactly the other woman in question was.

Now — Pamela is claiming that Adil is trying to win her back. However, she is steadfast in her decision to call it quits. “He has tried all – He has sent flowers letters – I did not accept. He showed up to my hotel. Security took him away. I have a body guard because he scares me. He has hurt me and threatened me many times,” she shockingly revealed in a comment below her original post.

Pam’s ex has even supported her efforts in aiding The National Domestic Violence Hotline, a privilege that the star now says he should not have had. “He should not be the face of protecting women from domestic violence,” Pam wrote in her post. Or protecting women at all. He did this to improve image- only.”

The Baywatch actress posted numerous comments below her post unveiling the most gritty details of their tumultuous relationship. “Narcissists don’t change. Sociopaths don’t change. I will run for my life – I have always fought for truth and justice. – this is my worst nightmare – I was not a very jealous person before I met him. I’m happy to know the truth. But it hurts like hell.🙏,” the star wrote.

The pair reportedly met in Los Angeles in 2017. They split for six months in 2018, but later rekindled their relationship. Adil has yet to speak out on the breakup.

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Chrissy Teigen Freaks Out Over The Funniest Object In The Mystery Box Game

Chrissy Teigen had nothing to fear but fear itself.

Oh, and a toy dinosaur grabber.

The model and cookbook author played Jimmy Fallon’s “Can You Feel It?” game on Monday night, during which she and “The Tonight Show” host thrust their hands into a box containing mystery objects.

And Teigen struggled to keep her cool:

Fallon wasn’t much better, however, when faced with a live lungfish and cockroaches.

Check out the clip above.

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BEFORE YOU GO


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'Dog the Bounty Hunter' star Beth Chapman remains hospitalized, in medically-induced coma

Beth Chapman gives update on grim cancer diagnosis

Fox411: Beth Chapman gave fans an indirect update on her battle with throat cancer by way of the first trailer for her upcoming A&E special ‘Dog and Beth: Fight of Their Lives.’

Beth Chapman, wife of “Dog the Bounty Hunter” star Duane “Dog” Chapman, remained in a medically induced coma Monday, a family rep confirmed to the Associated Press.

Family spokeswoman Mona Wood-Sword said that Beth, 51, was hospitalized Friday in Honolulu after having difficulty breathing and passing out momentarily and that doctors put her in a coma to spare her from pain during treatment.

“Duane and the family feel she’s such a fighter, she could get better,” Wood-Sword said. “The family still has hope.”

DUANE 'DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER' CHAPMAN SPEAKS OUT ON WIFE'S HEALTH

Sources told TMZ that Beth was uncooperative with doctors during her treatment and reportedly tried ripping out tubes used to give her medications and necessary fluids. The site claims mild sedation wasn't strong enough and that she remained agitated until being placed into a medically-induced coma.

Beth was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2017. Chapman was declared cancer-free after removing a tumor. She was later diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.

Duane Chapman, 66, told Us Weekly in December 2018 that Beth wasn't necessarily cooperating with her doctors and wanted to explore alternative therapies.

SON OF 'DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER' STAR BRINGS FUGITIVE TO ALABAMA JAIL

"Beth will not take anything the doctors want to give her. Even the doctor told me he doesn't want her to have seizures if the pain is that bad, but she won't do it," he said. "She takes over-the-counter pain meds. She will not take anything prescription."

Beth wrote on Instagram in February that she was testing out CBD and THC-based therapies and alleged that chemotherapy was "poison." In April, Beth was hospitalized for similar breathing issues that led to her emergency treatment last weekend.

Duane previously told Fox News the couple, who starred in their hit A&E reality television show from 2004 until 2012, credits faith with helping them survive.

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"Faith is probably the No. 1 thing in our lives, no matter what we’re faced with… Through this cancer episode, we had to drum up as much faith as we could. And the Bible talks about having faith as small as a mustard seed," he said. "And that’s not much… And I thank God that we had at least that much faith to get her through that."

The Associated Press and Fox News' Nicole Darrah contributed to this report.

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