J Lo says she felt like she was going to die after love of her life Ben Affleck split
Jennifer Lopez has opened up about her 2004 split from now-husband Ben Affleck, revealing that this break-up left her feeling like she was going to die.
Jennifer 53, and Ben, 50, finally tied the knot earlier this year, almost two decades after they called off their previous engagement.
Speaking about this now the singer and actress says that this split left her devasted, and that she ended up in an 18 year spiral where she "just couldn’t get it right."
The failed engagement left her so heartbroken that she was unable to perform songs she had written for and about Ben.
On the Zane Lowe show on Apple Music 1, J-Lo said: "I wouldn’t even perform these records. It was so painful after we broke up.
“Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die.
"It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn’t get it right."
After rekindling their romance all these years later, the mum-of-two says that Ben asked her about why she never performed these songs again.
Jen said: “When me and Ben got back together, he was like, ‘You never performed the songs. You never did I’m Glad. You never did this. You never did that.’
"I was like, ‘You’re right. It was painful.’ It was a part of me that I had to put away to move on and survive. It was a survival tactic, for sure."
Discussing their time apart, she continued: "We had to live these separate paths and we did other beautiful things. But once we got whole enough and loved ourselves enough and could stand on our own two feet, as the universe would have it, we were brought into each other’s lives again.
"It has the most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending."
Following their 2004 break-up, J-Lo went on to marry Marc Anthony, who she divorced in 2014 after a decade of marriage, while Ben married actress Jennifer Garner, who he shares three children with and split from in 2018.
The happy couple recently spent Thanksgiving together, with J-Lo's family, including her two children, who she shares with Marc.
Writing about bringing the two families together, in her newsletter, the Hollywood star said: "We weren’t only marrying one another; we were marrying these children into a new family.
"They were the only people we asked to stand up for us in our wedding party. To our great honour and joy, each one did."
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