Jimmy Kimmel: Trump NFTs Are ‘Literally Cards Against Humanity’

“At least last time, you got a red hat. Now he’s selling you nothing,” Kimmel said of Trump’s new digital trading cards.

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By Trish Bendix

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

‘Cards Against Humanity’

On Thursday, former President Donald Trump made what he’d promoted the day before as a major announcement: the release of digital NFT trading cards featuring Trump as a superhero, an astronaut and several other fantastical figures, for $99 each.

Jimmy Kimmel complained that they’re not even real trading cards, but digital ones, “which is another way of saying nothing.”

“At least last time, you got a red hat. Now he’s selling you nothing! It’s literally Cards Against Humanity.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“You know your campaign isn’t going well when your re-election strategy is, ‘Maybe people will like me as a Pokemon.’ Trump was like, ‘These cards are like classified documents — you’ve got to catch them all.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“The ex-president of the United States, the ex-most powerful man in the world, has launched a line of trading cards. It’s Grope-e-mon, with Pikacoup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“This is the least-dignified attempt at post-presidential merchandising since the launch of Tickle-me-Truman.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And by the way, we already have Donald Trump trading cards — they’re called subpoenas.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“In a way, this is all kind of gratifying to me, because a monster who tried to install himself as our fascist strongman is now reduced to hawking a line of trading cards. It’s like if Hitler escaped the bunker and released Mein Komic Book.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (QAnon Meets QVC Edition)

“After teasing a ‘major announcement’ on his social media platform Truth Social, former President Trump announced today he is releasing a collection of digital trading cards. It’s what his doctors are calling ‘a new symptom.’” — SETH MEYERS

“I know we say ‘This is crazy’ a lot, but this is crazy! He’s selling NFTs like a crypto bro — while he’s running for president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“He’s a business genius! Jumping in on the NFT market, when it’s at its hottest. Next, he’s releasing an exclusive line of rotary phones.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Also, got to love the timing of a former president launching his NFT line the same week a crypto scammer gets arrested. [imitating Trump] ‘They got S.B.F.? Looks like there’s an opening available, then!’” — SETH MEYERS

“The timing, too. It’s astonishing. Three days after that FTX guy got arrested for fraud, Trump said, ‘Now is the time to get into the imaginary baseball card market.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“If you saw that at 2 a.m., would you be like, ‘Am I having an Ambien dream?” — JIMMY FALLON

“Oh, look at this — it’s like QAnon meets QVC, it really is.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Even the most die-hard Trump supporters were like, ‘OK, now I’m worried.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Even the MyPillow guy was going, ‘I think Trump’s lost it.’” — JIMMY FALLON

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