Am I selfish for thinking about my love life while my mum fights cancer?
DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE met a girl who I’ve really fallen for. We’ve been talking and videoing every day for the past five months.
Because she’s studying to be a vet at university we agreed we wouldn’t meet up until she’s finished her dissertation. She’s 23 and I’m 25.
She has now finished and we’re both desperate to see each other in the flesh, but the only problem is that my mum has been diagnosed with cancer.
I’ve been living at home to help dad look after her. But last week her condition really deteriorated and she had to go into a hospice.
So my question is: Am I being really selfish, thinking about starting a new relationship at a time when my mum and dad need me? I really want to meet this girl but somehow it feels wrong.
I’m worrying it may be unfair on her too.
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sure your mum wouldn’t think any less of you for meeting this girl. In fact, I’m sure she would want you to get on and live your life.
You have been very considerate and supportive of your parents at what will be a difficult time. You can still be there for your parents and meet her. The change of scene and focus will no doubt do you good.
I’m sure that, if you are honest about what is going on in your life, this girl will be understanding. I’m sending you my support packs on Bereavement and Cancer, which I hope will help you.
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