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Today’s Monday. Six days left to not care about Sunday’s Oscars.
Up for awards are downers. Anthony Hopkins is always great but, in a pandemic with death all around, watching an aged man dying of dementia is no knee-slapper. And for an uplift, although Frances McDormand is also always A-1, her “Nomadland” is the darkest dreariest dimmest dismal-est dung ever made. Its high spot is starvation, degradation, poverty and homelessness.
“Mank,” about someone mostly nobody knows, mostly nobody saw. Wrote one reviewer: “‘Mank’ stank.” The review was better than the film. Michelle Pfeiffer in “French Exit?” I mean, please. The exit should’ve been in the theater. Hot on the awards list is “Judas and the Black Messiah.” Under 50 percent saw the thing.
Forget “How the West Was Won.” The Hollywood West has now lost it. Last year’s Best Picture “Parasite” wasn’t even in English. And the director — not Spielberg, not Scorsese not Soderbergh. The industry favorite whose name is on everyone’s lips — Bong Joon Ho.
Also — the show’s length covers three hours. Lucky us get to see best makeup person, best tweezer, best hairpiece maker. Few bladders make it to the finale.
We not only got that Godzilla thrilla, we also got SAG Awards, Golden Globes, Grammys, Emmys, Tonys, BAFTAs, Country Music Awards, off-Broadway Awards, People’s Choice Awards, MTV Video Music Awards, Billboard Awards — and almost everything’s been on TV. So who cares?
Nobody asked me, but I think “The Trial of the Chicago 7” was the best. It maybe ran longer than the original trial, but it was great.
Zooming in on young Bard
With movies deep in the lavatory — comes now the stage. On Zoom is the Pandemic Play Reading. Actors sit around a table talking to their phones. Their project is about young Shakespeare. Something called “Wil.” Maybe the dialogue’s like, “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, bro?” Eric McCormack: “The script’s ‘Shakespeare in Love’ meets ‘Princess Bride’ with a little Mel Brooks thrown in. I play Bernie Shylock, Wil’s New York agent.” If this is to be or not to be an actual play, who knows — but where there’s a Wil …
It’s all gone to pot
Abby Aldrich Rockefeller, daughter of David Rockefeller, hired Hudson Hemp company to run her 3,000 acres in Columbia County. Or maybe to tap into its now-legal cannabis market, which got valued at $5 billion. Irony: Her Uncle Nelson, the governor, was responsible for the Rockefeller drug laws, which made NYC our world’s cannabis-arrest capital, peaking with over 40,000 marijuana arrests in 2008. Nice lady Abby.
Art isn’t dead
Wait. I have more exclusives. Brooklyn artists Rachael Tarravechia and Anthony Eslick have stuff bearing the charming name: “New York Isn’t F–king Dead.” Their exhibit, now hanging on your computer, is at TchotchkeGallery.com … Everybody’s doing something. On a nine-day Florida to Spain ship schlep — 4,100 passengers for a last cruise last March — Jim David scratched out “Gay Jokes for Straight Cruisers.” In quick time the comedy album’s already No. 1 on iTunes. Beats recordings Caruso ever put out.
Getting ready to rock out
Chris Noth’s Cutting Room music venue reopens May 3 with the Van Halen tribute band Romeo Delight … Black and white and about to be read all over is a book about 1961’s first white student to attend an all-black college. From Fred Engh’s life in a trailer camp with his wife and children to attending the University of Maryland Eastern Shore to becoming a Phys Ed specialist. It’s “Matchsticks: An Education in Black & White.”
The Oscars will employ tremendous security this week. They already installed three cameras in front-runner Carey Mulligan’s bra.
Thought maybe only in New York, kids, only in New York.
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