Ex-hair model slams ‘mate’ who told her to ‘man up’ as she battles cancer
A former hair model fighting cancer was told to 'man up' by her so-called mate after she refused to leave the house because of the disease.
Jodie Mason, 26, was battling a brain tumour and bone cancer when her pal sent her the heartless remark.
She was also told to 'f*** off' by the same friend and by another mate, Birmingham Live reports.
Shockingly, the other pal accused her of playing the 'C card' because she was too ill to go out with her friends or family.
Jodie struggles with blackouts, severe headaches , incontinence, mobility issues, violent episodes of sickness, memory problems and many more life-changing symptoms, and now has agonising pain in her shoulders and back.
She has now spoken out about how her friends branded her 'selfish' for being too unwell to join in with some activities.
Jodie said insensitive comments were just a small part of the harsh reality of having cancer – and "no one really understands".
The former hair model, who shaved her locks off as she lost patches of hair to chemotherapy, said: "People say: 'Come on it doesn't matter, bring your walking stick'.
"But I have cancer in my bones and it's absolute agony and they don't understand.
"I'm on oxygen when I'm at home with a tube up my nose. Sometimes I can barely breathe.
"But because I've appeared well, ( I don't like people to see me sick), people say: 'Well why now?' Or 'It's my birthday' or 'You're so selfish'. I'm, like, really?
"People just don't get it. Unless you're in that situation, people just don't understand."
On good days when she feels well, Jodie said she goes out and tries to live life to the full – but she says it's difficult to strike the balance.
"It changes every day, I can wake up and want to run a marathon, but other days I can wake up and think: 'Am I going to die today?'
"On a three times weekly basis I get these comments and it makes me feel bad."
She said she no longer spoke to people who had sent her unkind messages.
"I've just had to have a no policy now, because I was sat there feeling really guilty and awful about it," she explained.
"It did really get to me – thinking maybe I should just man up, maybe I am being weak, but then I'm thinking: 'I'm sat there on chemo, drugged up, still working'."
Jodie also shared an astonishing and eye-opening rant about the things she believes should never be said to cancer patients – based on comments she had received.
In a Facebook post, she said strangers had genuinely asked if she was "going to die" and told her there were "people worse off than her".
And she explained how even well-meaning comments, such as "you're so brave" and "if anyone can beat this, you can", could be considered offensive, too.
This was her post following a series of insensitive comments after being diagnosed with a brain tumour aged just 25.
1. "That's a good cancer to have"
There are no good cancers. There are definitely some which respond better to treatment than others, and I'm allowed to observe that as the patient, but you are not. Please don't tell me how lucky I am. I may not be in the humour to hear that. Brain tumours are the biggest killer in adults – FYI.
2. "Do you just get headaches then?"
Yeah it is EXACTLY like your hangover, might as well just smash some paracetamol and BANG the magic headache is gone.
3. "I've always wanted to shave my head"
Losing your hair to chemo is not the same as shaving your head because you thought Natalie Portman looked cool in V for Vendetta.
4. "You look like Sinead O'Connor!"
No, I don't.
5. "We didn't think you'd be up for it"
Don't assume we're not able to do things just because we have cancer. Keep inviting us to stuff. Sometimes we won't be up for it, but sometimes we will, and we desperately need to leave the house.
6. "You're so brave"
We know you mean well when you say this, but we don't feel brave. Bravery is something that happens when someone chooses to take on something scary. We don't have a choice.
7. "Have you tried…?"
Unless you have a piece of advice so stellar that you think we literally can't go on without it, please don't make suggestions about our treatment. Yes, eating kiwis may be an effective way of combating constipation in your everyday life, but if the industrial strength medical grade laxatives an actual doctor have prescribed for me aren't working, then adding more fruit to my diet probably won't either.
8. "If anyone can beat this, you can."
Because the people who die as a result of cancer didn't fight hard enough?
9. "Remember, there's always someone worse off than you."
10. "I know how you feel"
No, you don't.
11. "At least you'll have loads of time free."
I am not on holiday. I have taken time off work because dealing with cancer is literally a full-time job.
12. "My Uncle/ Friend/ Pet had a brain tumour, they died."
That's great, thank you for scaring the s*** out of me.
13. "You're young you'll be fine."
Yeah four strokes, paralysis and a brain tumour later sounds exactly 'fine' for a 25-year-old.
14. "You shouldn't be drinking."
Are you my oncologist? Do you know what medication I am on or treatment? Do not tell me what I can and can't do, especially in front of people whilst I have a drink in my hand and try and make me look like a d******.
15. "You gonna die then?"
Just no. This is not a question you ever ask somebody. Unless they offer their prognosis, don't go there. You will know their prognosis if you need to know.
16. "You should just smoke weed and stop your tablets."
S*** why didn't I think of this earlier? Can't believe I go through hours and hours of IV that has skull and crossbones on it saying POISON going into my blood for funsies when I could have just had a joint! Silly me!
17. "You're going to the toilet a lot aren't you?"
Yes, thank you for pointing out my toilet habits in public. I'm sorry I don't have control over my own bladder and have to set alarms every hour so I don't wet myself at 25. I'm not already embarrassed enough, thank you so much.
18. "You get benefits though don't you, nice to have some spare money!"
No, I don't get benefits and it would be a lot nicer to not have a ticking time bomb in my head ensuring I can't talk properly, walk properly, eat, sleep, or have at least 10 emotional/mood swings a day because it affects everything.
19. *Person to my parent or anybody else close to me behind my back*. "Should she be doing that?!"
ASK ME I AM THE ONE WITH CANCER, NOBODY CAN ANSWER FOR ME. AND IF YOU'RE TOO AFRAID TO ASK ME – YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE ASKING IT!!!
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