How to sext your deepest fantasies, according to professional audio porn writers

Sometimes when you’re feeling a certain type of way you just have to let your fingers do the talking. IYKYK.

I being sat at your desk is keeping you from having a saucy rendezvous with your partner or fling, then sexting is the next best thing.

But hitting the tone just right is an art form.

It’s about knowing what gets your partner going, what fantasies to tap into and keeping those naughty messages coming (no pun intended). After all, there’s nothing like an awkward *left on read* to kill the mood.

Metro.co.uk enlisted the help of BLOOM’s audio porn script writer Jess Buie to give you a step-by-step on how to sext based on the app’s most popular fantasies.

According to Bloom’s data it’s threesomes, domination and public sex that get the naughty nation going.

But first a couple of house-keeping rules. It’s important to remember not to jump into things too quickly.

‘Consent is still important even when you’re texting. Start by sending one spicy text just to test the waters and ensure whoever you’re texting seems okay with the direction the conversation is going,’ says Jess.

‘Always check that you’re texting the right person before hitting that send button.’

So without further a do, lets get down and dirty…

Warning: The following is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Threesomes

Threesomes. When will they ever be out of style? Probably never based on BLOOM users’ self-reported top fantasies. Here’s what porn writer Jess says…

It’s a huge turn-on for a lot of people, the idea of bringing a third person into the bedroom.

Threesomes allow you to see your partner in a new light – whether you’ve been together for 10 years or a few months. Watching your partner engage in a sexual act with someone else can be extremely erotic for some people. 

When it comes to really specific fantasies like threesomes, it’s best to just come right out and tell your partner(s) exactly what you want as opposed to beating around the bush.

A threesome is going to be a very particular event that requires quite a bit of discussion and prep beforehand, so you’ll need to do a bit more communicating than just sending a few dirty texts. 

However, sexting is a great way to introduce the idea and get all involved parties on the same page.


You can fill in the blanks with whatever it is you’re interested in receiving from that kind of experience, but the best way to put things in motion is to tell your partner exactly what you’re imagining.

The suggestion of a threesome is sometimes taken a little negatively by people who see it as an excuse for their partner to have sex with someone else.

Explicitly detailing what configuration of bodies and acts you’re imagining will put your partner’s mind at ease and assure them that they’re a major part of why you find this scenario hot. 

Bonus tip: make this a dirty group chat instead of an individual text for a very fun lead-up to the main event.

Top tip for keeping the convo flowing:

‘Tell me more’ and ‘keep going’ are great phrases for keeping the conversation going if you can’t think of a raunchy response in the moment.

It’s also a good response for those who might not be particularly confident in their sexting skills. It lets the sender know that you’re definitely interested, but allows them to set the tone and boundaries of the conversation.

Domination

Dominant boyfriends are very popular on BLOOM. Here Jess gives us the why and how-to…

Introducing concepts of power and control into the bedroom are huge turn-ons for a lot of people, but it’s something that can feel a little scary to ask for. 

Introducing the idea through dirty text foreplay can help you ask for what you want and give your partner time and space to respond without the pressure of being face-to-face.

Plus, this kind of pseudo-roleplaying through text allows you to explore what you actually want to experience in the bedroom in a low-stakes way.


Start by introducing concepts of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and suggesting that good behaviour gets rewards and bad behaviour gets punishments.

Depending on whether you’re looking to be punished or do the punishing, you can easily drop hints to your partner that you’re interested in this kind of play by asking for a reward for being good.

For example: ‘Hey babe, I was very good today and did the dishes this morning… I think I deserve a reward,’ or insisting that you need a punishment for something ‘bad’ you’ve done.

Voyeurism

For Jess’ final explainer we have voyeurism or exhibitionism…

Voyeur or exhibitionist, you can tailor this sext for either angle. Whatever way you spin it, there’s just something about pleasure that is so visually appealing.

I don’t know what it is, but people LOVE the idea of someone watching them have sex or the idea of watching someone else climax.

These voyeur/exhibitionist fantasies on BLOOM tend to involve characters embracing their pleasure for all to see whether it’s through a webcam or at a crowded play party.

Having someone watch you while you’re having the best sex of your life is not only fun but incredibly empowering. It allows you to strip away the societal shame many people (and many women in particular) have felt about sex and pleasure and just exist in the blissful moment. 


Obviously, you need to be careful about who you involve in this fantasy. Consent is essential, and taking it slow so that everyone involved is comfortable is the key to bringing this fantasy to reality in the best way possible. 

To test the waters, why not set up a camera in the bedroom? Film yourselves as if someone else is watching.

Add in extra layers of roleplay, maybe inventing a new person who is in an imagined threesome with you and your partner.

Talk about what they might be doing, what they might be seeing, and how exciting it is to show someone how passionate you are together. When you’re ready, there are lots of ways you can take this to the next level!

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