Hubby caught me flirting with our gardener and his anger issues have escalated
DEAR DEIDRE: THE last two years of my marriage have been dominated by my husband’s explosive temper. I’m so tired of him throwing me out I might leave for good.
I have been with my husband for 30 years and the first 28 were very happy.
He is 65 and I am 56.
He has always been quick to lose it, with his road rage and over-the-top political opinions, but never took it out on me – until recently.
He caught me flirting with our gardener over texts and things changed.
Now it’s not unusual for him to swear and throw stuff across the kitchen.
He calls me an embarrassment, and says I have no respect for him or our marriage.
I try to be the perfect wife but any small thing sets off another outburst that ends in him kicking me out for the night.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The trust has gone for your husband and you are going to have to work hard to rebuild it.
Reassure him you have never cheated and never want to. Explain you really weren’t thinking about the full implications of your flirting. If you haven’t already, you need to apologise without any excuses or justifications.
Reassure him the last thing you would want to do is throw away all those years of happiness for a quick fling and remind him how important he is to you.
If you still struggle to re-connect, consider couples counselling – tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975, will be able to help you.
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