I have a caning fetish but my girlfriend refuses to be my punishment mistress

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE a caning fetish but my girlfriend isn’t interested in being my punishment mistress.

I am 43, she is 39 and we have been together for a year. Other than receiving the occasional mild hand spanking in foreplay, she refuses to go any further and won’t cane me.

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I went to my regular mistress but my girlfriend noticed the marks on my bottom where I had been spanked, so I’ve had to stop.

Should I give up my guilty pleasure, or can I convince her to join me?

We regularly spend a couple of weeks apart for work reasons so I could enjoy my fetish then. The sores will have healed by the time we are together again.

DEIDRE SAYS: If you want to try something a little different with your partner you must ensure that she  feels the same way. It wouldn’t be right to pressurise her to do anything she isn’t comfortable with.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a fetish but both partners do need to be onboard. 

Could you perhaps have sex your way, then her way alternatively?

Only indulge in your fetish when you are away from your partner if she agrees – otherwise you would be betraying her trust even if no sexual intercourse takes place. 

I’m sending you my support packs Kinky Sex and Fetishes. 

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