I was a male model, so why does my girlfriend only want sex when she is drunk?

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM a former male model, look after myself and have an athletic ­physique so why does my girlfriend only want sex when she is drunk?

If she has had too much to drink, the sex is really unfulfilling as she is hammered and I’ve normally only had a couple of beers. She pounces on me, rips off my clothes and hardly even waits for me to get aroused before she’s on top of me. 


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It’s 0-100mph in seconds. I’m always a bit shell-shocked afterwards and she is passed out.

I am 41 and she is 30. Our sons are eight, six and four years old.

People think we have it all — three gorgeous boys, we get on well, are always laughing together and I still fancy her.

But this really bothers me. We have spoken about tying the knot but I’m sure if we did, we wouldn’t consummate the marriage for months.

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I have asked her why she only wants me when she has her beer goggles on but she only ever laughs it off saying of course she fancies me and that I shouldn’t be daft. If I try to initiate sex she usually comes up with excuses. I can give her a peck or a cuddle but mostly if I try to go further she isn’t interested.

All her friends tell her how lucky she is to have a man like me in her bed but she doesn’t seem to think so. Unless she is tipsy, she pushes me away. Before I met her I was single for nearly eight years and I had a lot of flings. I used to get a lot of attention from other women. If I was interested in sex, I wasn’t ever turned down by a woman.

Now I have found someone I love, but the only time I get real affection from her is after she has had a few glasses of wine.

I would like to get married to her but this is holding me back. 

DEIDRE SAYS: You can have a great sex life and improve your relationship but you will need to talk this through with your girlfriend. Trying it on with her in the hope she will warm up clearly isn’t working.

She may have lost her body confidence since having three babies. She may also be concerned about getting pregnant again.

It’s also possible she may be too exhausted running around after three young children. If you could put on more washing, take the kids to the park on your own to give her a break – that is always well received by any tired-out mum.

Women want to feel desired so do let her know throughout the day how attracted to her you are and reassure her that you find her gorgeous. I’m sending my support pack Sex ­Problems After a Baby to help.

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