Meet the couple who charge £100 an hour to bring people’s sex fantasies to life
A couple who charge £100-an-hour for grown-up sex education classes say they can help people bring their sexual fantasies to life.
Natalia Virdee and her partner Joshua Sleith refer to themselves as 'sex workers' – but not in the conventional sense.
The pair teach adults what they call "real sex education" inspired by Eastern spiritual practices, Wales Online reports.
Maths graduate Joshua, 27, gave up his desk job to offer "erotic and Tantric massage", which he performs in a garden studio in the couple's home in Torquay.
The couple, who are also yoga teachers, say they want to see more openness about sex and talk frankly about what they do.
As well as massage and helping people act out their sexual fantasies, Joshua offers what he calls a surrogacy service, when he becomes a companion to men who might be hiding their sexuality.
Meanwhile former quantity surveyor Natalia, 41, coaches couples, often pensioners, to improve their sex lives using Tantric principles.
Tantra is an ancient practice thought to have been in existence for over 5,000 years.
It means “the weaving and expansion of energy”, and the teachings of Tantra were initially not focused on sexuality but were more about mastering and understanding our own energy, with amazing sex a happy by-product.
Joshua gave up his post-graduate job in insurance before running yoga courses and later becoming a sex worker.
“I decided I didn’t like the idea of working behind a desk for the rest of my life so I quit,” he says.
After going to a “kinky workshop,” and learning more about massage, he has been in this business for over two years.
“I think that for each and every practitioner it means something different because it’s based on their own experience and their education,” he explains.
“To me, when I’m offering someone a Tantric massage, it's about exploring what their body is capable of in terms of sensations and pleasure, focusing on ‘how can my body perceive pleasure, and how can I enjoy it?’
“Sometimes people take a spiritual angle within that, and I’ll happily facilitate it within a session, but sometimes that’s not the case, and I’m happy with that as well.
“Pleasure can be sexual or it can be platonic.”
Natalia adds: “You can contrast that with Christianity, for example, where you see the body as sinful, you punish the body, you achieve enlightenment through spiritual work or prayer, but you leave the body behind all together… it’s not like that at all in Tantric texts.
“Essentially, as you awaken the body’s energies, you can achieve enlightenment, and when the practitioner is skilled in energy work, they can help the client open new doors.”
Over 90% of Joshua’s clients are men, with a typical age range between mid-30s to people in their 70s.
He charges £100 an hour, and tells me about the boundaries he sets for himself.
“I’m not naked, I don’t use my body apart from my hands and perhaps my elbows sometimes,” he says.
“One of the best tools I introduce to people is communication, just expressing how you are or what you want in the moment, and that blows people’s minds, being radically honest.”
He says the vast majority of his massage clients come to him for some sort of sexual pleasure.
“I think that depends on your definition of sexual element,” he adds.
“There was a client who liked to have his arms above his head, then I would sit on his arms and tickle him for an hour, that was the whole session.
“To me, that wasn’t sexual at all. I don’t get sexual pleasure from my clients anyway, but to him, that was very sexual.”
He added: “Normally it starts with some light touch, nothing in particular, just hands running around everywhere and then the client sinking into that touch, from there it goes to whatever is agreed.
“It could be a session purely on spanking, it could be a session on wax play or ice. Wax play is when you drip wax on different parts of the body.”
Joshua's surrogacy service is slightly different, offering companionship to other men who aren't comfortable sharing their sexuality with the outside world.
“It’s like a temporary partner, like an escort but without sex,” he explains.
“We might have meal together, we might watch some TV, have a general catch-up about his, or their, lives.
“Is this because people are lonely?
“Without a doubt, yes, that’s the main reason, because they don’t have someone in their lives they have that connection with, that intimacy with.
“And because I can talk about things quite openly, so can they, quite quickly.”
He says he often deals with men who come to him because they do not feel they can express their sexuality.
“I’ve had people who can only express their genuine sexuality in the space I offer,” he continues.
“Their best friends don’t know, their wives, their kids.
“That tells me somebody is not living as their authentic self and I think society needs to change.”
The couple describe themselves as sex workers but Natalia contends it is not prostitution.
“A prostitute is someone who offers penetrative sex,” Natalia says.
“Even when I offered touch and sexual touch, I was never naked in the session and the touch was one-way only, from me to the client, and never from the client to me.”
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