20 Shark Movies That Will Make You Avoid the Water for the Rest of Your Life
As you know if you’ve watched even 10 minutes of Shark Week, sharks aren’t *actually* that interested in eating or attacking humans. But don’t tell that to Hollywood, an industry that’s all about portraying sharks as merciless psychopaths who are fixated on killing people for literally no reason—usually in the ocean but sometimes in the air (think Sharknado) or on the beach (hi, Sand Shark). On that delightful note, here’s a list of the highly inaccurate but extremely entertaining shark movies that have been keeping people out of the water for decades.
Jaws has the fine distinction of being not only the greatest shark movie ever made but also one of the greatest horror movies ever made. No matter that fake-shark technology has advanced about a million percent over the past 40 years—Jaws is still terrifying enough that you wouldn’t want to watch it during a beach vacation. And it definitely helps that John Williams’s score is so iconic that it conjures doom no matter where you are when you hear it.
2. The Shallows
The premise of this movie is ridiculous—beautiful girl goes surfing alone in a secluded cove, ends up on a rock fighting for survival before the tide comes in—but the execution is flawless. Every single piece of Blake Lively’s wardrobe becomes useful in her fight against the murderous great white that wants to eat her for dessert (a whale carcass is dinner), and Blake’s costar, Steven Seagull, truly deserved an Oscar.
3. Deep Blue Sea
In this 1999 treasure, scientists accidentally engineer shark brains so that sharks are smarter and more dangerous, thus making it problematic when they start escaping from the research pens and attacking people. This movie is recommended for those of you who saw Snakes on a Plane and thought, Hmm, I wonder what it’s like to watch Samuel L. Jackson fight sharks instead.
4. Open Water
This horror show is based partially on the true story of a couple left to fend for themselves in the open ocean after the rest of their scuba-diving expedition forgot them. What happened to the real people remains a mystery, but Open Water’s characters meet a very, um, definitive end.
Say what you will about the quality of this cult favorite, but there’s no question it revived the public’s interest in intentionally bad made-for-TV movies. The title says it all, but just to make it super clear: Los Angeles gets hit by a cyclone that causes shark-filled water spouts all over the city. You’ll laugh until you remember the movie was such a hit that it spawned a zillion sequels.
6. The Reef
After their boat capsizes, a group of friends attempt to rescue themselves by swimming through open water to get to the nearest land. Unfortunately, that water turns out to be home to a shark who’s not that willing to share his territory with these human swimmers, and chaos ensues. And that’s why you never agree to get on a boat!
7. Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus
Is this movie bad? Yes. But does it feature a humongous shark fighting a humongous octopus? Yes, so I fail to see the problem.
8. Shark Night
This film asks the question, “What if sharks lived in saltwater lakes and ate people for sport?” The answer is blood. Lots of blood.
9. Ghost Shark
The only thing scarier than a living shark is a dead shark that comes back to life and decides to eat you. In the titular ghost shark’s defense, though, it is only dead because a human decided to torture and kill it. Its victims kind of had it coming, you know?
10. Blue Water, White Death
Finally, something a *little* bit less sensational. This 1971 documentary follows the quest to film a great white shark underwater for the first time. The doc doesn’t exactly diminish the shark’s reputation as a killer, but it’s an interesting tale nonetheless.
11. Sand Sharks
It’s sharks, but they swim through sand instead of water. Makes perfect sense.
12. 47 Meters Down
In this 2017 gem, two sisters (hi, Mandy Moore!!) are on vacation in Mexico when they decide to go shark diving with some sketchy dudes they meet in a bar. Naturally, the chain holding their shark cage breaks, so they get stuck—wait for it—47 meters down and must fight off the bends, faulty air tanks, and, yes, a giant shark.
13. The Meg
This movie features Jason Statham fighting a 2-million-year-old megalodon! It is literally perfect. Also, it’s based on a book that has sequels, which means this could end up being a franchise. God bless.
14. Avalanche Sharks
In case the title didn’t make it clear, Avalanche Sharks is about a bunch of sharks atop a snowy mountain that spend their time murdering skiers. And watching it made me realize that the best genre of shark movie is “SURPRISE, SHARKS ARE ON ON LAND NOW.” We are not worthy of this creative genius.
15. Zombie Shark: The Swimming Dead
Wow, what did we do to deserve this? This being a zombie shark movie, of course. But don’t get it twisted: The premise of Zombie Shark isn’t that sharks are turning into zombies. It’s that shark bites are turning humans into zombies. It’s the genre mash-up we never knew we needed.
First of all, this movie was released in 3-D, which, yes please. But also, the plot is so extra: A bunch of hot people are chilling in a grocery store when a tsunami hits and floods the building. Unfortunately, a great white shark is washed into the store—ugh, hate when that happens—and proceeds to murder everyone.
17. 47 Meters Down: Uncaged
Technically, this movie isn’t out yet, but I already know it’s going to earn a place on this list. The plot? Some friends go diving in underwater ancient ruins (NEVER A GOOD IDEA), which are naturally inhabited by a bunch of bloodthirsty sharks that have just been waiting for some dumb humans to kill. Expect this one to hit theaters August 16, 2019.
18. Malibu Shark Attack
Okay, so, take the plot of Bait but make it even more insane, and you get Malibu Shark Attack. Some sexy lifeguards get trapped in their station after a tsunami hits and unleashes a pack of…wait for it…“prehistoric goblin sharks.”
19. Toxic Shark
The only thing worse than going on a tropical couples retreat during which a shark rolls up and kills everyone? Discovering the *hard* way that said shark spews poisonous acid out of its mouth—a totally realistic thing that could definitely happen IRL, don’t question it!
20. Ghost Shark 2: Urban Jaws
Kinda like Ghost Shark, only in a big city. As a reminder: Our toothy friend is super pissed when a bunch of randoms kill him during a fishing trip, so he decides to become a ghost and come back for REVENGE—this time in New Zealand. Also, I’m genuinely dead at this picture, although not as dead as this shark.
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