The Duggar Family's Most Candid Sex Tips

Get Married Young

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Derick Dillard made a joke about sex after a fan asked his wife, Jill, on her Instagram account why members of her family seem to “rush” into married life at a young age. 

The comment came after Jill’s younger brother, Justin Duggar, 18, got engaged to Claire Spivey less than two months following news of their courtship.

“Why do you guys rush to marry life. He’s a kid and Claire too!!!” the Instagram user commented, to which Derick replied, “because we want to have sex.”
 
Well, that’s certainly one reason to get married quickly!

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Keep It Playful

Once the kids are away, the real games can begin! A few weeks after sharing her tips on how to keep “the fire in your marriage” alive, Jill Duggar Dillard put her tricks into action while celebrating her fifth wedding anniversary with husband Derick.

The couple left their two sons with Derick’s parents before heading out on a romantic getaway at a bed and breakfast in Branson, Missouri, where they saw a concert and enjoyed an “amazing dinner” before retiring to their room to play some seduction games.

The mom of two shared a black-and-white photo to Instagram of their sexy setup, which featured the Kama Sutra (a guide to lovemaking), a massage oil candle, Skittles and a “Bedroom Edition” game scorecard. She encouraged her fans to check out the Dating Divas Instagram account, which she said offers “lots of fun, clean, date/marriage tips and ideas!”

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Have Sex Often

Jill knows that the priorities in a marriage shift over time — particularly with the addition of children — but she’s adamant that newlywed bliss is attainable at any stage, and the key is making time for sex.

The 28-year-old Counting On star got candid about her sex life with her husband of five years in a blog post on the Dillard Family website in June, sharing that it’s imperative to have sex often. “You both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start. lol)” she wrote.

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Save Yourself for Your Partner

In the blog post, Jill warned against masturbation, adding that couples should “guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone.” Instead, she suggested, “Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting!”

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Dress for Success

To help get you and your partner in the mood, she also suggested getting “new lingerie (online is an easy way to buy!) as a surprise gift for birthdays, holidays, vacations or whenever.”

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Don’t Hesitate to Seek Help

The TLC star acknowledges that intimacy can be hard to maintain, but regardless of kids and balancing schedules, “the fire in your marriage doesn’t have to die out,” she insisted in the post.

“But like a fire, sometimes, and more so during some seasons than others, you need to be intentional, proactive and work hard to keep the fire going.” she explained.

If communication, games and trusted advice don’t seem to be making a difference, Jill encourages couples to seek help and “see a doctor and/or licensed counselor … if you’re struggling with sex with your spouse.”

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Keep His Needs in Mind

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Duggar family matriarch Michelle is set to celebrate 35 years of marriage to Jim Bob this July, and 19 kids later, she’s learned a thing or two along the way about keeping the spark alive.

Above all, she holds the advice a close friend gave her just before her marriage to be essential: remember that you are the only one who can fulfill your husband’s sexual needs.

“Anyone can iron Jim Bob’s shirt, anybody can make lunch for him. He can get his lunch somewhere else,” Michelle wrote in a blog post on the family’s website, recalling her friend’s advice. “But you are the only one who can meet that special need that he has in his life for intimacy. You’re it. You’re the only one.”

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Always Be ‘Joyfully Available’ for Sex

Michelle continued to recount her pal’s words of wisdom, writing, “And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him. Smile and be willing to say, ‘Yes, sweetie I am here for you,’ no matter what, even though you may be exhausted and big pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. ‘I’m still here for you and I’m going to meet that need because I know it’s a need for you.’ “

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Go the Extra Mile 

After nearly four years of marriage, Dillon King told PEOPLE that he and wife Amy Duggar King make it a priority to “just keep it fresh, keep it wild” in the bedroom.

He added that they incorporate “firelight, candles, one of those big massage bed things” for some extra romantic flair.

“Every now and then, got to make it a thing, right? I can’t do it repetitively because it gets too built up, she’s used to it. Then it’s like, how am I going to top that now, right?” Dillon explained.

“He does like candlelight,” said Amy, who added, “I have a built-in masseuse as a husband. He’s incredible.”

Four months after revealing to PEOPLE that they have sex “all the time” and that they’d “been practicing” in hopes of expanding their family, Amy announced in April 2019 that she and Dillon are expecting their first child together.

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