Bode Miller and Savannah Chrisley Talk About Loss & Guilt on Special Forces: World's Toughest Test

"Yeah, but guys, with all due respect, you don't know how it is to have parents in prison, and having to take custody of a 10 and a 17-year-old. That's the thing. I feel like such a piece of s— for not being there," said Savannah Chrisley during the episode.

Bode Miller and Savannah Chrisley both opened up and got emotional on the latest episode of Special Forces: Worlds Toughest Test.

Miller opened up about the death of his daughter, who was only nineteen months when she drowned.

When the team joined together at the base camp after completing their first mission, Miller noted that he’s a tough dad to his eight kids.

“Yeah, that’s right you have eight kids,” said Tom Sandoval of Vanderpump Rules fame.

“I have a one-year-old girl and a 15-year-old-girl and then five boys in between. My daughter would have been sandwiched right in between, the one who passed away,” shared Miller.

“Sorry, I didn’t know that you had one that passed away,” said Jojo Siwa.

“Yeah. Drowned. Nineteen months,” added Miller, whose daughter accidentally died in 2018.

“It was brutal,” he continued, getting emotional. “She let herself out the back door and jumped right into our neighbor’s pool.”

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“What was her name?” said Bachelor star Nick Viall.

“Emmy,” said a tearful Miller, before Viall asked how he “deals with something like that?”

“It does not go away,” responded Miller.

Kelly Rizzo, the widow of Bob Saget, shared her thoughts on grief.

“It’s such a weird thing that I never knew until you grieve is that you feel guilty for feeling happy. Even if you have a moment of happiness, you’re like, ‘Oh my god, am I going to get judged for feeling happy? I shouldn’t feel happy’,” she added.

“It’s so conflicting,” said Bode. “It’s one of the strangest things.”

Chrisley also opened up about the guilt that she feels after leaving her brother, 17-year-old Grayson, and her niece Chloe, 10, both of which she has custody over. Savannah took over the role after her parents, Todd and Julie Chrisley, were imprisoned for charges of bank fraud and tax evasion.

“My parents are currently serving a combined 19 years in federal prison,” said Chrisley, 25, during a confessional.

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After Chrisley failed her first task, she admitted: “I wanna get home.”

While talking at basecamp, she shared that her head isn’t in the game.

“It’s just all the worries at home,” said Savannah. “The fear of something happening when I’m gone.”

“That sucks,” said Sandoval.

“When my parents both reported to federal prison, I got custody of my two younger siblings. It’s gonna be hard knowing two kids are at home wanting me there,” she said, adding that being on the show is revealing to her that she’s “softer” than she lets on.

“You don’t seem soft,” responded Rizzo, to which Sandoval added that he doesn’t “see that either.”

“Mentally, I’m committed to this selection, but I’m not gonna lie, it’s very tough to leave all of that back home and to have no communication with them,” shared Chrisley in a confessional.

“Yeah, but guys, with all due respect, you don’t know how it is to have parents in prison, and having to take custody of a 10 and a 17-year-old. That’s the thing. I feel like such a piece of s— for not being there,” she said on another part of the episode.

“I think for the first time in my life, I actually love two people more than I love myself.”

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